Archives for May 2017

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Subway Paramour

Dear Subway Cashier
I see what you’re doing
the female employee
you’re actively wooing

But mine is a hunger
I soon must fulfill
So feed me my sandwich
and give me my bill

So handsome and suave
behind your green apron
despite a line out the door
of long waiting patrons

Your little entendres
Your witty replies
Make her smile and giggle
and flutter her eyes

But again, I remind you
My six inch is waiting
though yours might be stiffer
and ready for mating

I get it, your hormones,
they cry for relief!
But please God, I beg you
For my toasted roasted beef!

Perhaps after hours
you can flirt and flirt hard
and kiss and make out
against the sneeze guard

Oh good, now you’re listening
while she uses the toilet
Let’s transact this quickly
Before she comes back to spoil it

“Spicy Italian”?
Wait, that wasn’t my sub!
Oh, that’s what you call it?
Your fully formed chub…

What a catch you will be
for this bleach-blonde haired youth
But still not a whole grain
has passed cross my tooth

So, I’m leaving this romance
I bid you goodbye.
I’m going to Quiznos
Where love goes to die.